The Springfield Campaign

So, if the Simpsons and their neighbours and co-workers were voting in the riding of Springfield-Shelbyville this Monday, how would they cast their ballots?

Liberals:
- Mayor Quimby (can relate to the way the Liberals have run the federal government)
- C. Montgomery Burns (his social views are probably closer to the far right of the Conservative party, but you know he has federal advertising contracts in Quebec somewhere)
- Waylon Smithers and Patty Bouvier (voting to protect same-sex marriage)
- Snake (inmates are voting Liberal to keep out the law-and-order Tories)
- Apu, Dr. Nick Riviera, and Luigi the pizza chef (immigrants vote overwhelmingly Liberal)
- Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel (considered voting Conservative to have the gun registry scrapped, but in the end, probably fears his government cheques would be cut under a Tory government)

Conservatives:
- Principal Skinner and Abe Simpson (war veterans who presumably know about the Liberals' abortive "military" ad)
- Dr. Hibbert, Rainier Wolfcastle, the billionaire Texan, Krusty the Clown and Sideshow Bob (conservative Republicans)
- Chief Wiggum (would vote for the tough-on-crime candidate)
- Selma Bouvier (Stephen Harper looks a little like MacGyver)

New Democrats:
- Marge Simpson (voted for Jimmy Carter - twice)
- Disco Stu (only stands to reason he'd go for 1970s-era economic policies)
- Troy McClure and Sideshow Mel (artsy types)
- Mrs. Krabappel and Miss Hoover (active in a militant teachers' strike)

Green Party:
- Lisa Simpson (too young to vote, but she'd volunteer)

Christian Heritage Party:
- Ned Flanders

Marijuana Party:
- Otto

Canadian Action Party:
- Moe (I just get the feeling he's the kind of person who'd vote for these guys)

Homer Simpson - who once led a union and conducted same-sex marriage ceremonies, but also served in the naval reserve, ran several small businesses, and got really angry when taxes were increased to pay for the Bear Patrol - is likely still undecided.

Posted by damian at January 21, 2006 05:04 PM | TrackBack