Special guest post: more disturbing developments in Trig Palin mystery

Bristol Palin's second child, whose father is the son of a woman facing drug charges, I'm just sayin' is all, is due to be born tomorrow.

From my exhaustive review of Sarah Palin's most recent alleged pregnancy, we know that Trig Palin was allegedly born on April 14, 2008, exactly eight months and two days before Bristol is set to give birth again.

I understand that most pregnancies last nine months, so this is, hands down, the most disturbing development yet. Palin's defenders are crowing about how this "proves" that Bristol could not have been pregnant with Trig.

It proves nothing of the kind, of course. According to the dozens of obstetricians I've contacted over the past six months, I've been assured that pregnancies can be artificially induced before the baby reaches full term.

The question now becomes, how do we know Governor Palin hasn't used the might of the Alaska Governor's office to force her own daughter to give birth nearly one month early, and to order the hospital to perform this risky procedure, just to throw investigative reporters like me off the trail?

Sure, it's possible that there's a reasonable explanation for all of this, but until Sarah Palin releases her medical records and a videotape of Trig Palin's birth, and until the experts I've retained to review these materials to ensure they aren't faked, and until the terrifying, all-powerful intergalactic warlord Xenu assures me that this mystery is solved, I will continue doing my journalistic duty in asking questions about the most important news story of our time.

Speak out. Ask questions. Don't back down. Don't take any wooden nickels. Keep your powder dry. I love lamp. You can run but you can't hide, "Governor" Palin.

Andy S.

Posted by damian at December 19, 2008 12:11 PM