I had a friend as a child, that was multiply handicapped.He was a very sweet child. I was also picked on as a child. I was a small Inidian child and I was very small and smart, so the bullies didn't like me. I once watched as these bullies attacked my friend. I am sure I was just glad they weren't attacking me. I also did nothing. I think of that episode with shame even today. Bullying is a terrible thing. I watched while evil happen. I am just as guilty as the bullies.
I have tried to find my friend to beg his forgiveness.I have been unable to. I will look again because of your post.
My son when at school saw boys bullying a girl, as there were no teachers about he defeded her. Guess who got in the shit?
Posted at 2007-04-17 06:24:27 [PermaLink]How many of us have stood by? How many of us have been brave enough to admit it and to teach our kids about the effects of our own inaction? We all owe it to our children to make them aware of what THEY can do in situations like yours while being aware that the overbearing sense of self preservation at the point of maximum danger is often beyond our control. Confidence and conditioning through good modelling, fitness and the discipline of sport can help in situations like this. In the end, I think you're admission has probably done more for their understanding (whether it takes affect now or when they are older) than you or they can comprehend right now. Good for you. I hope I can sum up that kind of courage when the time is right for my kids.
Posted at 2007-04-17 08:28:37 [PermaLink]These days bullying, even a fight isn't even close to what it used to be. Before it was a fight in the schoolyard between two people and then you went home. Standing up to a bully often even gained you grudging respect from the bully if not changing his ways or turning him into a friend.
Now it can easily degenerate either into a swarm attack, a weapon being involved, or drive by vengeance. Getting involved and doing the right thing is and ideal we should all strive for, however, these days, doing so can easily get your children killed.
In Ontario schools, children are being told that fighting is bad. Most of us would agree with that, in general terms. Specifically, the teachers and administrators treat both instigator and defender the same way: they both indulged in violence, so both are punished. The lesson kids take away from this is that self-defence is wrong: not only do you suffer the initial attack, you then get punished on top of it.
Posted at 2007-04-17 09:51:32 [PermaLink]Thank you for your thoughts, folks.
Wolf... my experience, too. I became a target later that spring. After three fights in the park over a two week period, I had four new friends.
We also caught royal heat from our teacher at school for failure to intervene directly and indirectly.
These things can build character. I just wonder about the wuss culture we're creating today. The past may have had it's ugly moments... but how ugly can it get when sheeple stand-by under tyranny?
I have an artificial leg. In grades 6 and 7 I was often called "Hopalong Cassidy". Fair comment. I also did my best playing baseball (Little League) and football (neighbourhood pickup). Any taunting--if it ever was really that--ended.
I should also note that, in my neighbourhood (not rich, just middle class) in Ottawa in the late 50s, we had a Japanese and then an Indian boy, diplomatic brats. They just joined in our games and were taken as people. None of us locals thought anything about their "race". Hell, in those days, white Irish Catholics were considered much more the "Other". Though, in practice, that did not bother kids much once we got to play with each other.
Let the children teach the adults.
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Mark
Ottawa